My impulse decisions can go from three tequila shots in a row (I swear that stuff is a drug, not a drink) to 3AM eBay purchases of American flag print pants so I can dress up as Axl Rose for Halloween (may or may not have occurred in the same evening). So, really, it’s quite a range.
However, impulse takes on a whole new meaning if you put me in a bookstore.
I blacked out at Chapters last night. Again.
I was only in there for maybe an hour and a half and I walked out with almost a hundred dollars worth of books. You think I can afford that?! I’m a student!! I’m supposed to be ballin’ on a budget.
The worst part is what I actually bought. Although I did pick up the book required for my creative writing course, the other three books were completely unnecessary.
I’m hesitant to share the title of the first book with you all, because it is so wonderful I want to keep it to myself, but for the integrity of this extremely professional blog (sarcasm), I will tell you.
1 Lullabies For Little Criminals by Heather O’Neil
I’m not going to give you a summary of this book because go read it your damn self, but I will tell you that it has heroin and chocolate milk and it is dark and fantastic. Also, I think I already own it. I know I borrowed it from someone a few years ago and liked it so much that I considered buying it…I just can’t remember if I did. There may be a day in the future that I find a second copy under my bed and shake my fist at the sky, cursing my book addiction, but I probably won’t tell any of you.
2 Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? by Mindy Kaling
The only reason I’m confused as to why I bought this book is because at least three people I know already own it, so it would have been cake to borrow it from someone and give it back. However, I like the idea of Mindy sitting next to Tina, Amy, and Lena on my bookshelf. I’m a hoarder, okay?! Back off. (Lena is a temporary guest, big ups to Danielle for borrowing her to me, I promise to return it soon)
Okay. The last one is the worst. It’s a great book, but, well…
I bought a freakin’ cookbook.
3 Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook
So…I don’t really cook. I’m hella good at making breakfast, KD, and frozen pizza…I watch a lot of food network, and I really really really like to eat..but I am no chef. I bought this book because it is hilarious and there is a lot of swearing (remind you guys of anyone..?), and the few times I have attempted to make a real meal it has been a complete joke, and, yes, there was lots of swearing. If you are more into financially sound decisions than I am, check out Thug Kitchen on Twitter and Insta and I promise you will laugh until salsa comes out of your nose.
I guess there’s worse thing I could be addicted to than books. Meth, for example. I’m not sure on the financial details but I will say that reading definitely keeps your teeth in better shape.
Was that a weird joke? I don’t know. Stop analyzing me and go read something.
Here’s a picture of me cooking one time. Chicken? Whatever.