Sorry, got excited.


Technically my birthday is on Sunday but you bet your ass I’m going to make this last at least three days.

I am violently passionate about birthdays. My birthday, my friend’s birthdays, my dog’s birthday, I don’t give a shit. As long as it’s someone’s birthday.

The two best birthdays I can remember were my 17th and my 20th. On my 17th birthday my mom woke me up with cake for breakfast (tradition has been going strong ever since) and I wore rubber boots and went to the zoo all day with my grade 12 biology class. Everyone was nice to me, my sister braided my hair, and I sat in one of the dinosaur eggs in the reptile department. (If I still fit in one of those, this would be a running tradition as well)

On my 20th birthday I worked at 6 in the morning, but my mom still woke up extra early to bring me a piece of cake in bed. I got to work to open up and was REAL pissed because whoever had worked the night before had forgotten to set the alarm. I stomped to the back to turn on the lights and saw a little moon face staring at me from the floor behind the counter. Just about shit my pants, then I realized it was my friend Mel. I turned on all the lights and Mel and Ashley had decorated the pants off the place and had balloons and presents there for me. I think they’d had gotten there around 5:30 to get it all ready. Naturally, I made an ass of myself and started crying because I have the best friends in the entire world.


We snorted back a quick gin and OJ (sorry boss, just a short one) and the day only got better. Everyone that came in wished me a happy birthday and gave me extra tips. I had one customer come in with a big cake with candles on it and another one brought me a balloon and pancakes. I got gift cards and (more) booze and didn’t stop smiling the entire day


And I don’t have a damn clue what it is.

A couple weeks ago Ashley (terrible liar) started asking me a bunch of weird stuff on the bus ride to school. She started tilting her laptop and phone away from me all the time and running away from me every time her phone rang. I picked up on the fact that my friend Kayla was involved, so I confronted her about it. All she did was ask me a series of random questions that didn’t make any GD sense and I knew she was just trying to throw me off the scent.

Wednesday, Kayla texted me.

Her: you ready for tonight?

Me: for work?

Her: Sure

Me: *a series of expletives I will not include* WHAT IS GOING ON?? SHOULD I HAVE SHOWERED??

Ash and I went to work after school and I was sketchier than a drug addict all night, questioning everyone that came in and staring at every car that pulled into the parking lot. The night went on and nothing happened, Kayla came in at close but I’m sure it was just to confuse me.

Ash and I are heading to Kings Head right now for a drink then to State and Main for dinner and more drinks.

I’ll keep you guys posted.


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